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You see gay porn stars in Provincetown or on Instagram, swaggering around, stroking their eight-packs, beaming out their beauty like you will never stand a chance.
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Straight porn guys turn me on because they are always horny and seem less perfect than those groomed, perfect geldings that trot through gay male porn. Hopefully, like me, you will learn to like straight porn. Other scenes will consist of a woman with a tongue piercing and thick contoured makeup pretending she is a teenager or in a college dorm getting fucked by a douchebag straight porn actor who often has a ponytail and wears black front-pleated pants. The porn offerings will often have very long “lesbian” scenes of women eating each other out. You will be relying on old wrinkled Hustler magazines and porn DVDs with names like “Sorority Scandals” and “My Boss’s Daughter.” That’s because gay men aren’t really allowed in these facilities (more on that later). No one tells you that these donation clinics you go to may have no gay porn. I found that very un-sexy, and discovered the best position for me was to jerk off while on my knees, holding the cup below me like I was asking for change on the street. Often this chair will be covered in butcher paper. They will probably have a lounge chair set up for you. It’s not easy at all - unless, maybe, you have done porn.
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You will be sitting there in one of the strange jerk-off rooms at a donation clinic, and you will have to get the cup (a small, plastic cup like a urine sample container) in the right position and squirt in a precise yet still orgasmic way that you probably have never done before. No one tells you how difficult it is to aim your ejaculate.